A Compassionate Approach to Helping Middle and High Schoolers Manage Anxiety

Navigating the complexities of adolescence, notably throughout the middle and high school years, frequently entails confronting significant challenges. Academic obligations, social dynamics, and societal expectations can create a sense of uncertainty and anxiety among students. However, experiencing anxiety in such circumstances is a common and understandable response. Support networks are available to assist tweens and teens, cope with these challenges. By fostering a collective effort to confront and manage anxiety, individuals can develop resilience and emerge from these experiences with newfound strength and understanding.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in managing anxiety is acknowledging your feelings. It's okay to feel anxious; it's a natural response to stress. Take a moment to pause and identify what you're feeling. Are you worried about a test? Nervous about a social event? By recognizing and naming your emotions, you gain a sense of control over them.

Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself, especially when anxiety strikes. Remember, you're doing the best you can with the resources you have. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend facing a challenge. Take a few deep breaths, remind yourself that it's okay to feel anxious and offer yourself words of encouragement.

Develop Coping Strategies

Identify coping strategies that work best for you. Whether it's deep breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, journaling, or going for a walk, find activities that help calm your mind and body during moments of anxiety. Experiment with different techniques until you find what resonates with you.

Break Tasks into Manageable Steps

Feeling overwhelmed by a daunting task or assignment? Break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one step at a time, celebrating each small victory along the way. By taking things one step at a time, you'll feel less overwhelmed and more in control of the situation.

Reach Out for Support

Remember, you don't have to face anxiety alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, teachers, or school counselors for support. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can provide relief and perspective. Sharing feelings with others can provide validation and a sense of understanding. When someone else acknowledges your emotions and experiences, it can help normalize them, reducing feelings of isolation and stigma.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If anxiety is interfering with your daily life and functioning, do not hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals are trained to help you develop coping skills and strategies to manage anxiety. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it

Remember, You're Stronger Than You Think

When you are experiencing anxiety, it's easy to forget how strong and resilient you truly are. It is important to remember, you've faced challenges before and you've overcome them. Trust in your ability to navigate the challenges of adolescence with courage and grace. You have the capacity to overcome any obstacles that arise.

As you journey through the complexities of adolescence, remember that support is available. Family members, trusted friends, teachers or therapists, can help you develop strategies to manage anxiety, build resilience, and emerge stronger. Keep moving forward, maintain faith in yourself and do not give up. Perseverance and self-belief must remain unwavering, for therein lies the potential for growth.

Parent Tips for Helping Children & Teens Create Healthy Friendships

Friendship is a vital part of development, providing support, companionship and a sense of belonging. However, making friends can sometimes feel daunting, especially for young people navigating the complexities of adolescence and the teenage years. These are some suggestions that parents can use when talking to their children about the best ways to make friends and build meaningful connections.

Be Yourself

Authenticity is key when it comes to making friends. Encourage your child to embrace their unique interests, quirks, and personality traits. When they stay true to themselves, they attract friends who appreciate them for who they are.

Find Common Interests

Shared interests provide a natural starting point for friendship. Encourage youth to explore their hobbies and passions, whether it's sports, art, music, or gaming. Participating in activities they enjoy increases the likelihood of meeting like-minded peers.

Be Open-Minded

Friendship can come in unexpected forms. Encourage your children to be open-minded and approachable, welcoming the opportunity to connect with people from diverse backgrounds and perspectives. Emphasize the value of learning from others and embracing new experiences.

Practice Empathy

Empathy is the foundation of meaningful connections. Encourage your child to listen actively, show genuine interest in others' experiences and offer support when needed. By understanding and empathizing with others' feelings, they deepen their friendships, foster trust and build camaraderie.

Initiate Conversations

Initiating conversations can be nerve-wracking, but it's a crucial step in making friends. Encourage your children to start small by asking open-ended questions, offering compliments, or sharing a funny story. Remind them that everyone feels a little awkward at times and the more they practice, the more comfortable they will feel over time.

Be a Good Listener

Being a good listener is just as important as being able to express oneself. Encourage your child or teen to give their full attention when others are speaking, ask follow-up questions, and validate their feelings. By showing genuine interest in others, they will strengthen their connections and build rapport.

Communication Skills 

As parents we can create opportunities to practice meaningful communication by setting aside device-free times, such as family dinners, to engage in open and honest conversations. Practicing active listening and effective communication techniques to ensures everyone in your family feels valued and builds important friendship skills.

Cooperation

Engage in collaborative activities and projects as a family to promote teamwork and cooperation. Encourage children to take turns, share responsibilities and appreciate the contributions of others, fostering a sense of unity and collaboration.

Emotion Regulation

Help children and teens learn to recognize and manage their emotions in healthy ways. Provide support and guidance during times of emotional distress, teaching coping strategies and problem-solving skills to navigate challenging situations.

Apology and Forgiveness 

Teach children the importance of taking responsibility for their actions, making sincere apologies and offering forgiveness to others. Model the behavior you wish to see by acknowledging your own mistakes and demonstrating genuine remorse and forgiveness.

Be Kind and Inclusive

Kindness goes a long way in fostering friendships. Encourage youth to be inclusive, reach out to those who may be feeling left out, and stand up against bullying and exclusion. By creating a welcoming environment, they create opportunities for meaningful connections to flourish.

Remain Patient and Persistent

Making friends takes time and effort. Encourage your kids to stay patient and persistent even if they face setbacks or rejection along the way. Remind them that building friendships is a journey and each interaction brings them one step closer to finding their community.

Friendship is a valuable asset in child development, offering support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. By being authentic, embracing common interests, practicing empathy and initiating conversation, young people can build meaningful connections that enrich their lives. Remind your children that true friendships are worth the effort. 

Your Child's First Phone and Access to Social Media

In today's digitally-driven world, the question of when to give a child their first phone or allow them access to social media is a pressing concern for many parents. Consider your child's maturity level, responsibility and need for communication. Many parents choose to introduce phones when their children begin activities or situations where they may need to contact them. Numerous psychological studies support the idea of delaying access to phones and social media until eighth grade. One notable study published in the JAMA Psychiatry found that adolescents who spent more time on social media reported higher levels of internalizing problems, such as depression and anxiety. Another study published in JAMA Pediatrics linked higher social media use to increased risk and severity of depressive symptoms among adolescents. By delaying access to social media, parents can protect their children's mental health and well-being during a critical period of development.

The Importance of Social Skills

One of the key reasons for delaying access to phones and social media is to prioritize the development of essential social skills. Research suggests that excessive screen time can interfere with children's ability to engage in face-to-face interactions, empathize with others, and build meaningful relationships. By delaying access to phones and social media, parents can encourage their children to develop strong interpersonal skills and foster deeper connections with peers and family members.

Promoting Real-world Experiences

Delaying access to phones and social media also encourages children to engage more fully in real-world experiences and activities. Studies have shown that excessive screen time can detract from time spent on hobbies, sports, outdoor play and other enriching pursuits. By limiting screen time and delaying access to phones and social media, parents can encourage their children to explore the world around them, develop new interests, and cultivate a healthy balance between online and offline activities.

Setting Limits and Boundaries

Establishing clear rules and boundaries around screen time is crucial for maintaining a healthy family dynamic. Encourage regular breaks from screens, prioritize face-to-face interactions, and designate screen-free zones and times, such as during meals and before bedtime. Collaborate with your children to create a family screen time plan that works for everyone. Set clear guidelines for phone usage, such as no phones at the dinner table or during family time. Additionally, engage in open conversations with your children about online safety, privacy, and responsible digital citizenship.

Monitoring Content and Social Media

With the vast amount of content available on the internet and social media, it is essential for parents to monitor and regulate what their children are exposed to online. Social media platforms often have age restrictions for a reason. Before allowing your child to join social media, ensure they understand the potential risks and responsibilities involved. Consider their emotional maturity, ability to navigate online interactions safely, and willingness to adhere to your family's guidelines for social media usage. Familiarize yourself with parental control settings and software that can help filter inappropriate content and track your child's online activity. 

Managing screen time, phones, and social media is a complex but essential task for parents. By setting clear limits, monitoring content and engaging in open communication with your children, you can help them develop healthy screen habits and navigate the online world safely. Remember, every family is unique, so find strategies that work best for your family dynamics and values. With forethought and open communication, parents can empower their children to make informed choices with regard to social media usage as they become young adults.