Demystifying Self-Harm: Help for Teens, Adults & Parents

Why Do People Self-Harm?

Self-harm is a serious behavior that affects individuals of all ages, and understanding its underlying causes is crucial for effective support and recovery. Self-harm is often a coping mechanism used to manage overwhelming emotions or distressing situations. People self-harm for various complex reasons, and it is essential to understand that self-harm is not simply attention-seeking behavior or an attempt to end one's life. Here are some common reasons why people engage in self-harm.

Emotional Regulation: Self-harm may temporarily relieve intense emotional pain or overwhelming feelings such as sadness, anger, anxiety, or numbness. It can serve as a way to cope with emotions that feel unbearable.

Communication of Pain: Some individuals find it difficult to express their emotional pain verbally. Self-harm may serve as a way to communicate their inner turmoil or distress to others.

Sense of Control: When other aspects of life feel out of control, self-harm can provide a temporary sense of control over one's body and emotions. It may be a way to assert autonomy in situations where one feels powerless.

Self-Punishment: Feelings of guilt, shame, or self-loathing can lead individuals to self-harm as a form of punishment for perceived failures or shortcomings. It may also be a way to seek relief from overwhelming feelings of guilt.

Distraction: Engaging in self-harm can distract from emotional pain or traumatic memories, albeit temporarily. It may provide a focus on physical pain that temporarily alleviates emotional distress.

Coping Mechanism: For some individuals, self-harm becomes a learned behavior or coping mechanism that they turn to in times of stress or crisis. It may provide a way to cope with difficult situations or traumatic experiences.

Expression of Dissociation: In cases where individuals feel disconnected from their emotions or sense of identity (dissociation), self-harm can serve as a way to feel something tangible and real.

How to Help Yourself or Someone Else Stop Self-Harming

Teens

Identify Triggers: Keep a journal of emotions and situations that trigger the urge to self-harm. Understanding triggers can help develop healthier coping strategies.

Develop Coping Skills: Replace self-harm with healthier alternatives like deep breathing, journaling, exercising, or seeking support from friends and trusted adults.

Reach Out for Support: Talk to a parent, school counselor, or therapist about your struggles. Opening up is an important step toward getting help.

Create a Safety Plan: Have a list of activities or people to turn to when feeling overwhelmed. This can provide distraction and emotional support during difficult times.

Explore Therapy Options: Consider therapy or counseling to address underlying issues contributing to self-harm and learn effective coping mechanisms.

Adults

Seek Professional Help: It's crucial for adults struggling with self-harm to seek support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in treating self-harm and related mental health issues.

Identify Triggers and Patterns: Like teens, adults should identify triggers and patterns associated with self-harm. This awareness can help develop strategies to manage and prevent self-harm urges.

Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and emotional well-being, such as meditation, exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family.

Use Distraction Techniques: Develop a toolkit of healthy distractions to turn to when the urge to self-harm arises. This might include calling a friend, going for a walk, or listening to music.

Address Underlying Issues: Work with a therapist to explore and address any underlying issues contributing to self-harm, such as trauma, depression, anxiety, or relationship problems.

Parents

Educate Yourself: Learn about self-harm and its underlying causes to better understand and support your child or teen.

Create a Supportive Environment: Foster open communication where your child feels safe discussing their feelings and struggles without fear of judgment.

Encourage Professional Help: Encourage your child to seek therapy or counseling. Support them in finding a therapist who specializes in adolescent mental health.

Model Healthy Coping Skills: Demonstrate healthy coping strategies in your own life, such as managing stress, expressing emotions, and seeking support when needed.

Be Patient and Supportive: Recovery from self-harm takes time and may involve setbacks. Provide consistent support and reassurance that you are there to help them through their journey.

Self-harm is a coping mechanism used by individuals of all ages to manage overwhelming emotions. By understanding the reasons behind self-harm and taking proactive steps to seek help, individuals and their families can work together toward healing and recovery. Remember, seeking support from trusted adults and mental health professionals is essential in overcoming self-harm and building healthier coping strategies for the future. With patience, empathy, and perseverance, it is possible to overcome self-harm and achieve emotional well-being.